Autumn is a sad girl. She fell in love with Taylor Swift, not because of her pop songs or post-breakup hits that dissed each of her exes. But because of her sad songs, of her genuine lyrics, she never knew that she could ever relate to the star. All the beautiful storytelling journey that she had gone through is so amazing.
Autumn is her favourite season, autumn is also the season when she lost her favourite person. And she never found someone else who could replace him. Even a year later, she still fails. A year later, on this day, she still failed to forget him. A year later, in autumn; she cries because she hates him, she hates how bad he used to treat her, and she still hates herself because no matter how hard she tries, she still can't remove him from her memories. She hates knowing that he treated her like a whore, but his reminiscent is still there; lingers.
There were times when the clock struck 1312, the pain was triggered, and she fell down. There were times it was 0211 and she cried unwillingly because she wanted it to stop. Sometimes, she used to think that ending her life by all means just to end the pain. Life is good tho, but the pain? She's still struggling on her own.
She tried medication, she tried psychotherapist, she tried counselling, she tried wearing loose, black clothes which only showed her eyes. But everything dissipated into thin air.
She's still alive though. That's all that matters right?
