Butterfly,

 

Little did I know, my feelings are uncontrollable.

Limbic system; you have to work better for me. I'm a complete mess *cries*

Abruptly, I want to be able to control my reactions, my actions, my thoughts. I want to appear as a cool person. But I always fail to do so. Haha. A big reaction, always, excited and I ended up looking so stupid and make fool of myself. hmmm... I realise it happens, but I can't control it. It keeps on going right before my eyes. How can I even survive in this state then? *blank face* 

I always knew that being expressive about my feelings is not good, yet I am clearly an open book. How irony is that. I thought I want to be as highly reserved as possible but to no avail.lmao

Aensshi;Choayeo

Oh when will it come?

the day when I will forget about the despair?

Oh when will I receive?

all those recognition and admiration?

I want to embrace every single thing and live on. I want to struck the worse things and skip to the end. I want to be remembered...

20191019; Sat; 0227

What do I expect?,

What do I expect from a mere creature called human? 

of all heartbreaks over the years, it seems like I never learnt from my history. Irony as it is. It started to chill down to the black bones, I was offended. I put myself on the bed, thinking how stupid I was and how stupid I am, still. 

What do I expect from a close person, yet so far away?

even a mother can leave her kid on the street just like that, and I expect to be cared of and taken with love yet everything is still not clear. Years, I've been struggling and wailing. Not wanting everything to end in a night, I cried myself to sleep and I still, do cry myself to sleep. 

What do I expect from you?