"Nashrah, you are loved"

One would tell me I should live my life properly, that I should work harder and put more effort.

One said I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, that I should treat myself better and learn to pat my back.

Which one is it?

Am I the laziest? Or do I work the hardest?

 There're aren't so many people who's willing to really be there. Not much. 

Some would see the beauty side of me, some would just be repulsive.

I probably could't feel any more complicated than this. 

I have a love-hate relationship with running

Sometimes I love it

Sometimes I hate it

Sometimes I stay

Sometimes I leave

I put hopes on people.

I cling into every knacks and corners of their limb.

When they don't even spare any space in their heart.

You build up hope but failure's all you've known

I couldn't fathom what makes you said thee.

I'm more than confused, I'm baffled.

You know what, we're not going anywhere nearer there. 

I convinced myself so many times

"Nashrah, you are loved"

"From Your Demon" - Mato

 "they'll tell that heavy dose of melancholia ain't healthy,"

True. But only claiming things and classifying it won't do anything. What have they done to prevent it so? What have WE done to make it better? Some people would just shrugs and brush things off because it matters nothing to them. But some struggles every single day not to stay dead. It's the matter of self stand, but it the meantime people made them that way. Some would just say, 'Oh, you can forget what other people talk about you, screw them,' etc etc but somehow you can't stop to remember every single pain that you received from them. As if, nothing happens *smirk* I probably don't know anything about someone else's pain, but I do know they need someone to embrace them, because they are not able to embrace their own. I know they need someone, just someone, throughout the whole life, to sincerely ask whether they're okay or not. And truly care about how they feel. Not just simply turn the question into a professional session or numb questions that they never meant to ask.

Just a thought.

Some people would just judge and appear significantly innocent, preach like they had all those shits smeared at them and they excel going through it. That's bullshit. Truth is either they were born with silver spoon in their mouth, or they grown up with only two brain cells and live on by smudging rubbish into their guts. They know nothing. And by NOTHING, I mean NOTHING. I may sounded so negative now, but that the pain truth.

30 August 2019 at 21:2